Moving in Together: What You Need to Know

Thinking about moving in with your partner? This article covers everything you need to know, from budgeting and dividing chores to maintaining personal space and communication. Learn how to make the transition smoothly.

15 min read

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Key takeaways

1. Communication is your new best friend. Talk early, talk often, show each other respect and compromise.
2. Keep those expectations in check. Real life isn't a rom-com, but it can be pretty great if you're both on the same page.
3. Money matters, so don't shy away from the finance talk. Budget for both bills and fun - all work and no play makes for cranky cohabitants!
4. Divide and conquer those chores. Teamwork makes the dream work (and keeps your living space from becoming a biohazard).
5. Respect each other's need for physical space. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
6. Learn to compromise. Remember, you're partners, building a life together not opponents in a verbal boxing match.
7. Make time for quality time. Keep the spark alive with intentional together time.
8. Plan for the future, but live in the present. It's good to have goals, but don't forget to enjoy the journey.

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Hey there, lovebirds! So, you've decided to take the plunge and move in together. Congratulations! You're about to embark on a journey filled with shared Netflix accounts, arguments over toilet paper orientation, and the exciting discovery of your partner's secret snoring symphony. But before you start packing those boxes, let's chat about what you really need to know to make this cohabitation adventure a success.

Communicate more than just deciding what's for dinner

First things first, let's talk about talking. No, not the "What do you want for dinner?" kind of talk (though that's important too). I'm talking about the deep, meaningful conversations that'll set the foundation for your shared life. Discuss your expectations, future plans, and daily routines, it's more than just a living arrangement, you are moving in together. And hey, why not set up a weekly "State of the Union" meeting? It's like a date night, but with spreadsheets and to-do lists.

Prioritise open conversation - Before moving in together, chat about things like weekend plans and dividing household chores to avoid misunderstandings. Make sure you both tackle issues head-on so small annoyances don't turn into big fights.

Commit to regular check-ins - Setting aside a regular time weekly or monthly to discuss your living situation and address small issues before they become significant can provide both an opportunity to adjust expectations and needs as they evolve.

Addressing your concerns early - When concerns arise (and they will), vow to have a non-confrontational approach by staying calm and using "I" statements to express feelings without blame. This way you both will tackle issues collaboratively, viewing them as problems to solve together rather than battles to win against each other.

Discuss excitements and fears - Discussing your excitements and fears about living together, by sharing positive feelings it will enhance your entire relationship, while expressing concerns helps your partner understand and support you better.

Manage the expectations, it's not all pillow fights and breakfast in bed

Living together and moving in together isn't always going to be like those cute montages in romantic comedies. There will be days when your partner's dirty socks on the floor make you question all your life choices. That's normal! Keep those expectations realistic and remember that you're both human beings with flaws (and possibly questionable taste in home décor).

Be real together - Challenges and adjustments are part of moving in together. Expect disagreements and tough days, and remember no living situation is perfect; managing each others expectations can help you both reduce disappointments.

Continue to being individuals - You are both your own person, so encourage each other to pursue individual hobbies and interests for personal growth and avoid feeling stifled. By spending some time apart, whether with friends or alone, it will help you maintain a healthy balance and appreciate each other when you are together.

Reflect together - As a new couple that's moved in together, it may take some time to iron out how each of you want things run, set aside time to reflect on your relationship together, discussing what’s working and what could improve.

Compromise and and be flexible - Be flexible and open to change as you navigate living together, and find a middle ground on differing expectations to maintain harmony and a happy household.

The money talk: Because love doesn't pay the bills

Ah, the dreaded "money talks." It's about as fun as a root canal, but it has to be discussed, besides it's way more important for your relationship's long-term health. Sit down and have an honest chat about your finances. Are you going to split everything 50/50 when moving in together? Or maybe you'll divide expenses based on your incomes? And don't forget to create a "fun fund" for those spontaneous pizza nights and impromptu weekend getaways. Remember, money might not buy happiness, but it sure does pay for Wi-Fi and takeout.

Have the conversation about your finances - Money talk is a regular topic for couples so, openly discuss your financial situations, including income, debts, savings, and spending habits. This helps you alight your short-term and long-term goals like saving for a holiday, buying a house, or building an emergency fund for better planning.

Budgeting together - While you are on the topic of finances, you might as well talk about budgeting for your move as a couple and working out who will organise local or interstate removalists, packing material and moving boxes and how you both will pay for the move. Beyond that, having a joint household budget covering shared everyday life expenses like rent, utilities, groceries, transportation and entertainment, while including personal expenses and savings. It will help you both understand what expenses are needed and what isn't.

How are you going to organise your money? - Decide on joint or separate accounts based on your needs; a joint account can simplify shared expenses, while separate accounts offer financial independence. There's no one size fits all so agree on a money management system, whether it's one partner handling finances, splitting responsibilities, or having regular financial meetings. Moving in together will mean you'll both need to buy some moving homes essentials for your new home.

What are your financial boundaries? - Moving in together now means it's no longer a one person team. There's two of you now, so set spending limits for discretionary expenses to avoid conflicts and ensure financial stability. Agree on a threshold for significant purchases, discussing and approving any expense above a certain amount together.

Establishing an emergency fund? - You've made a commitment to partner up so, is an emergency fund needed just in case some things go pear shaped on your journey. Like if someone loses their job. By regularly contributing to an emergency fund and aiming for three to six months of living expenses. It can help with a safety buffer and get things moving a long.

The Battle of the broom and mop

Let's face it, nobody likes doing chores. But unless you've got a secret army of cleaning elves (if you do, please share!), someone's gotta do the dirty work. Sit down and map out all the household tasks when moving in together. Maybe you're a whiz with the vacuum, and your partner has a way with dirty dishes. Play to your strengths and create a chore chart. It's like a fun game, except the prize is a clean home and a happy partner!

Map out household chores - Make a list of all the household chores like cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, and paying bills. This will help keep your home for two organised. Then, sort the tasks into daily, weekly, and monthly groups to see how often they need to be done and how much effort they require.

Creating a chore chart - Try using a chore chart or app to lay out who does what around the house. Switch up the chores every now and then to keep things fair, avoid burnout, and make sure both of you can tackle all the household tasks.

Making it a fair game - Talk about which chores you prefer, think about each other's skills, and consider how much time you both have. This way, you can split household tasks fairly and make it more enjoyable for everyone.

Flexibility to adapt - Be flexible with your chore chart as life changes, and lend a hand when your partner is overwhelmed or can't finish their tasks because of unexpected events.

Communication about chores - When you have regular check-ins, talk about how you're splitting chores and sort out any problems before they get bigger. Make sure to recognise and appreciate each other’s efforts; it’ll keep the teamwork going strong.

Keeping shared spaces clean - Try tidying up shared spaces daily to keep clutter at bay and maintain a pleasant environment for each other. Also, plan regular deep cleaning sessions for tasks like scrubbing bathrooms or cleaning the oven where it benefits the both of you.

Having personal space: Because sometimes you need to miss each other

Living together and finally moving in with each other doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip 24/7. In fact, maintaining some personal space is crucial for your sanity and the relationship. You might be sharing the same moving truck rental, but it doesn't mean you need to be pack your books in the same box as your partners. Whether it's a dedicated reading nook, a man cave, or just an agreement that bathroom time is sacred alone time, make sure you both have room to breathe. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder... even if that absence is just you binge-watching your guilty pleasure show while your partner is out with their own friends.

Individual space needs - Recognise how important it is to take personal time to relax and recharge. Set up private spots in your home, like a separate room or a cozy corner, where you and your partner can each enjoy some privacy.

Setting healthy boundaries - Set up work-from-home boundaries by making sure each of you has a quiet, dedicated workspace. Work out how much alone time to spend for hobbies and activities like reading, gaming, or crafting and respect it. Give each other the freedom to enjoy your individual interests.

Shared spaces - Agree on cleanliness standards for shared spaces like the living room, kitchen, and bathroom to create a comfortable environment. Also, discuss which personal items can be kept in these areas to ensure mutual respect and value for each other's belongings.

Conflict resolution related to space - Handle space conflicts calmly and openly. Find solutions that respect both your needs. Be willing to compromise and stay flexible—understanding each other makes resolving these issues much easier.

Personal space in daily routines - Make sure to fit in some "me time" into your day, like a morning jog, evening meditation, or even a weekend hobby. Also, be mindful of different sleep schedules by keeping the noise down and using headphones for any late-night activities.

Conflict Resolution: Fighting Fair (Without Pillow Forts)

You and your partner are bound to have disagreements when moving in together for the first time. Learning how to work together, to empathise, be fair and compromise will help you avoid big blow outs. Tell them "I feel..." instead of pointing fingers and shifting blame. Sometimes having a cooling-off period in the heat of the moment is wiser than pushing through when emotion is high. Just remember that it's you two against the problem each other.

Healthy disagreements - When conflicts come up, try to focus on finding a solution instead of winning. Aim for something that benefits both sides. Always respect each other by talking calmly, and avoid shouting or saying hurtful things. It's best to address issues when both of you are calm and not distracted by other things. Moving day can be stressful too and having a plan can help you avoid mistakes when moving to a new home.

Communication techniques - Try active listening by really hearing your partner out and summarising what they said before jumping in. Use "I" and "we" statements to share your feelings without pointing fingers, like saying “I feel upset when...” instead of “You always...”. If things get heated, take a break to cool off and avoid making things worse.

Be problem solvers together - As a two person unit tackle problems as a team, this includes brainstorming ideas, and picking out the best solution together. Being able to be open and accept and value ideas from your partner will better lead to and outcome of finding a middle ground that respects everyone's needs. Maybe, one of you have a great idea on how to move in one day. Just hear them out.

Seeking fresh perspectives - It's important to reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or professional when you come across a challenge in your relationship with your partner that you both cannot agree on, sometimes it's best to get fresh perspectives.

Prevention strategies - Preventive communication is all about talking about potential stressors early on to avoid conflicts. By reaffirming shared goals and values, everyone stays aligned, making conflicts less likely to happen.

Handling reoccurring conflicts - Look for patterns in recurring issues to get a handle on the underlying problems. Dig deep with root cause analysis to tackle these problems and keep them from happening again.

Conflict resolution agreements - Set some ground rules for handling conflicts, like no yelling, no interrupting, and taking breaks if needed to better protect your mental health.

Having quality time together to bond

Moving in with your partner means you'll be glued to the hip most of the time, but that doesn't always mean it's quality time. You both need to make an effort and commit to nurture the relationship that moved you in together, to plan date nights and experience new activities together, it can be as simple as a tech-free dinner where you actually talk to each other. And hey, why not start a new tradition? Maybe "Taco Tuesday" or "Sunday Funday." Where you try out a different local ice cream shop together.

Incidental time - Recognise that everyday moments like cooking, running errands, or watching TV can really strengthen your bond. Use these times to connect with meaningful conversations and shared thoughts. Turn household chores into fun bonding opportunities by doing them together.

Intentional time - Plan regular date nights or special activities to spend quality time together without distractions. Try new hobbies, visit different places, or cook new recipes to keep things exciting. Turn off your devices to make sure you have meaningful, uninterrupted moments together.

Spontaneous moments - Embrace spontaneity by surprising your partner with last-minute dates or random acts of kindness. Be present for those spontaneous interactions—unplanned moments often bring the most unexpected joy!

Activities to strengthen your bond - Get into shared hobbies, learn new things together with classes or lessons, and plan trips and adventures. These experiences and challenges will deepen your connection and bond.

Have fun together

Shared hobbies - Find fun activities to do together, do you and your partner share a passion for like cooking, gardening, hiking, yoga or cos play. Then do them together.

Date nights - A perfect date night can keep things fun and something to look forward to as well. Make the effort to plan ahead and set up regular nights out. Just the two of you. The only rule, to turn your mobiles off!

Get out of the house - Why not plan some outdoor adventures like hiking or picnicking? You can also explore your city by checking out museums and restaurants. Or, how about a quick weekend getaway for a refreshing change of scenery and some new shared memories?

Travel together - Plan holidays and travel adventures together by chatting about destinations you'd love to go, activities, and experiences you both want. A bucket list of destinations and must-dos kids perhaps.

Celebrating milestones - Celebrating relationship milestones is another way to nurture your relationship and build a deeper emotional connection, any special dates like anniversaries, birthdays, work or personal achievements can strengthen your bond.

Learning together - Sign up for classes like cooking or painting, start a small book club, or learn new skills together—whether it's a language, an instrument, or a new sport. These activities can be fun, rewarding, and spark some great conversations and insights.

Everyday bonding - Cooking together, tackling home projects, and starting a shared exercise routine are awesome ways to spend quality time and bond with your partner. Whether you're whipping up a meal, redecorating a room, or hitting the gym, these activities can be fun, productive, and super motivating.

Future planning: More than just which show to binge next

While you're in the present moment of being just moved in, it's never too early to talk about the future. Quiz each other on where do you see us in a year? Five years? Are kids in the picture? How about pets? (Start small – maybe a plant?) By having the courage to talk about these conversations head on it can save you from some awkward moments down the road. Like I wonder when he will put a ring on it.

Long-term goals - Are you and your partner on the same page when it comes to what you both see in the plans long-term. We're talking about a clear vision of marriage, starting a family, careers, and which suburb you want to live in the future. It's the first step of supporting each other's dreams and finding common ground.

Move into a new space together - Think about moving to a new home for a fresh start where you both share ownership. Chat about what you want in terms of location, size, amenities, and budget to find the right spot. Work together on decorating and setting up to make your new home cozy and uniquely yours.

Financial planning for the future - As a couple, having shared financial goals, like saving up for a house, planning for retirement, building an investment portfolio together or simply to save money reaffirms your relationship to and commitment to keep growing together. Make it a habit to regularly review and tweak your budget to stay on track. And don't forget to keep adding to your emergency fund to stay secure for those unexpected moments.

Shared decision-making - Make sure both partners have a say in major decisions like finances, career changes, and life events. Come up with a decision-making process together—talk about the pros and cons, get some outside advice, and agree on the best choice.

Building a support network - Keep strong relationships with family, friends, and community members; they provide great advice and emotional support. Get involved with neighbours and local groups to boost your social connections.

Planning for parenthood - If you're thinking about having kids, chat about your parenting views, timelines, and responsibilities. Get ready for the financial and emotional aspects, like saving and figuring out childcare.

Exit strategy: Hope for the best, plan for the worst

Exit strategy? But I've barely just moved in! Yes we know! It's not the conversation to have after you've just move in but it's worth thinking and at some point have the conversation with your partner about. Just in case moving in together wasn't such a good idea after all. Just by opening up and having this deep and confronting talk you will setup up a solid foundation for a transparent relationship. Talk about how you'd handle lease agreements, purchase you've made together, and even pet custody. Maybe you're both just finding the pressure a bit overwhelming and would like to ease up a little. It's perfectly normal.

Moving in together is a big step in your relationship after experiencing independent lives, but it doesn't have to be scary. Remember, you are not alone in this and your partner is most likely going through the same thing so embrace vulnerability. Acknowledge each other's feelings and by leaving an open line of communication together, setting realistic expectations on how you'd want to run the two person household and making the commitment to nurture the relationship you already have with one another, you'll be ready to turn that "my place" and "your place" into "our place" and start daily life together. So help each other grab a moving box, take a deep breath, and get ready for the adventure of a lifetime.

Final thoughts on cohabitation bliss

So there you have it, lovebirds! Exactly what you need to know about moving in together and starting home life with one another without losing your mind (or your sense of humour). Moving in with your partner is a big deal but it's also an exciting journey. You will build a shared life together, create new traditions together, and discover many of each other's quirks and just how weird your partner's shower habits really are. There will be times when you'll be challenged by one another, other times you'll give in and find a common ground but along also moments of joy, laughter, and love that you'll remember for the rest of your life.

At least, Find a Mover can help ease the burden of finding a cheap removalist no matter which suburb you decide to call home. Remember, at the end of the day, you both are doing this together. Be patient, open communication and support one another, and don't forget to laugh along the way - especially when you're both standing in the kitchen at 3AM, eating cereal straight from the box unpacking each other's moving boxes.

Here's to your new adventure in cohabitation! May your WiFi be strong, your takeout orders arrive hot, and your love for each other grow stronger with each passing day (and each successfully assembled piece of furniture).